Couldn't Get A Title ..

I have been pretty down lately from life and people. At times I feel that I cannot control anything in my life anymore. It has been very upsetting and very depressing for me. Out of depression and being sick and tired, I tend to remember the happy times that I had in the past and see if I can turn back time. I have been trying to get in touch with people from the past. Just to say “hey, how are you. Do you still remember me?” Nothing. No replies, nothing. I tried email, and even Facebook. No answer. On Facebook they even removed their accounts and I cannot search for them anymore, or maybe they just blocked me , I don’t know. I don’t understand people anymore and why they hate me so much. Was I ever that bad?





I look at my life now and I can honestly say I am at an all time low. I wish I can just meet new people or try to be more open and have fun in life. I am so scared now a days from talking or trying to interact much with people because I am afraid they will hate me if I said anything. So I just stay quiet and just listen. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think the past haunts me, the present is not a place I want to be in, and I cannot even think of the future anymore.

I hate you ..

When Life goes to nowhere ..

and you can't get your remaining part ..

Then i have to say .. I hate you..

When i get misunderstood ..

and i turn to be a suspect when am a victim ..

Then i have to say .. I hate you

When i run into nowhere to help someone ..

and they turn their backs off ..





Then i have to say .. I hate you

whether it's someone , somewhere , or anything else .. it doesn't matter

I hate you and i can't believe in anything no more ..

i know i am leaving here in the end .. not ever coming back ..

leaving not just my home ,, my entity , but the whole country ..

with a promise to never ever attempt it again ..

but no retaliation ..

Days will do that instead ..

I Hate you ..

Freezing !

Freezing Out in Cairo ..

almost 5 Celsius Around Here ..

what makes it more difficult is where i live ..

Its a City with a high altitude .. So temperature Falls Sharply at Night ..

Anyway , With the freezing around , i never forget to get my thoughts cycle going on ..

This post is just a tin tank ,, i.e. nothing much here though ..



With all the cold and freezing atmosphere around ,,

its mid year vacation .. exams are over .. 3 weeks to return back ,

stuck till the teeth in work , and no much time for rest ..

But that doesn't ever give it away ,, for the hopes and dream ..

Coz its never too late :-)
******************************************************

Can't Complain .. 2007 Is Vanished

Hi All .. This post is supposed to be my year finale's .. actually I've been writing in it for weeks .. more accurately .. i have been making drafts of it .. and then save it till another thought comes on mind .. its a year that is leaving today .. a 365 Days .. with Sorrow .. Happiness .. pain .. Relief .. And a lot of emotions .. started with a hope and ended with the same thing .. in between a lot of things happened .. will try to make this neat and brief as possible .. and clarify it too ..



If i start with personal side of me .. i could tell this year gave me a lot of experience through the things i passed by either social or in my career .. also this year witnessed my first experience in work ( professional work ) through which i started changing my past beliefs about life and encountered more of the values and ideas of working in a team .. accomplishing tasks .. and that frankly gave me a boost of courage i lacked for a long time .. so that's a +ive One Thing ..



If to Make It Thru for social relations .. could tell of it as a year of rises and fall backs .. i saw in it some social experiences that i didn't thru my life .. learnt a lot of new things .. had more of a boost in my character .. i admit i had made some stupid things for sure .. still not able to get of the hesitation mode i always find myself in when taking decisions .. but its at least better for now .. i started developing my own character and independence too..

i Don't want to make this long so i would like to say a few words .. i know that is life .. so i don't expect it like a bed of roses ... what's written will be seen .. but that doesn't mean that what is lost today ... could be recovered tomorrow .. may sound like illusions .. but .. i got that part of the personality which recovers me to my best side if i happen to fall .. don't know if there are other things to mention .. but .. if anything comes up in mind i will show back for it ..



Have a good time and god bless ya all ..
and spend your new year eve with god ... not with the devil ;)

* No names were mentioned here in order to respect people's privacy ..

Take Me There ..

Today I Nearly Got to the edge of death as close as it can be .. saw it with my own eyes .. an this time it turned to be like nothing matters .. anymore does it .. Let Loose My Heart .. I am not in touch again ..

Just like the words say ..

I wanna feel the rain again ...
I wanna feel the water on my skin ...
And let it all just wash away ...
All My tears and pain ..

Believe me .. its not only things like that you could get down due to .. there are a lot of pains around and inside us .. and trying to look normal and happy .. we push it off to the edge and keep doing so till we can't take it anymore .. trying to look strong and successful and keeping your word to all people ,.. its a matter of glossy painful thing ..


you pop yourself with the question .. where can i get myself extra nerves .. can't i take a backup of myself when am at least living some happy moments?

Enough Please .. Take Me Back There .. I Can't Resist Anymore ..

Think of it as been a rundown .. an escape .. whatever .. i couldn't hold it anymore .. Sorry !

En Plus ..

Remember This Day ...

7/11/07

I Had Two Respective Shocks ..

At 1:00 Am ,, I Got My License Wasted In A Police Security CheckPoint ...

At 11.00 Am ,, My Bag Which Contains My Toshiba Notebook ..My IDS , My Personal Data .. Got Stolen From The Lecture Hall When I Left For A break ..

Am not like mourning or crying over spilt milk ... its just a matter of fact that its a destiny in the end .. and Allah Has A Point In that ..

Thanks To All the Real Freinds Who Were By My Side Today .. Who Really Made Me Feel Better .. Who Raised My Spirit .. you did your part en plus ..

In Quran , A verse says '' Might you Hate Something and it is good thing for you ,, and might you like something and its bad for you .. Thee Allah Knows What you don't Know "

P.S:The Photo Was Taken Last Night By My Phone

Is it yet time?

Looking Back at my messages , A message shows with the following : " Sorry , Disconnecting without Warning " , Not even in my most thrilled dreams have I thought of it turning into a reality , to become more than just a text message…into a lifetime certainty..

And while I look around hoping for some good news , I make a review of my life in a 10 months period ,,, since the beginning till the sudden end .. "This is what supposed to happen a long time ago" I heard that phrase and I kept wondering … what is it that supposed to happen? And if you know so... Why did you start it all?

Just like all events we pass thru in our life … You Get Excited in the Beginning... Gradually Becoming Bored - You return to the stealth mate State... But you never Forget about it...Even if you give yourself the illusion of that... Simply Because Rules of Psychology Apply … In the End We are all Humans...

"I don't Like someone to give me the impression of me been a fool "... Why wouldn't you tell him? If you take it on and get adapted with it then you are as you think … simply because you put yourself into illusions... Not even attempting to inquire about it... I am sympathized...

During the time, I kept hearing this phrase "They've said real bad things ... I can't anymore " What are those things? How are they bad? The Answer Space was left blank... Giving you the wide imagination of trying to interpret the meaning in between the words …putting my brain into schooldays again... "Research"

I pass everyday by your home on way to home... Really pathetic and ironic at the same time... Isn't it? Mind it that I didn't choose my Route... Should we call it Destiny Choice or Destiny Mocking Me?

While I look around... I have a little smile... Of those who thought of me been their subject... Thinking they were smarter than me... I am neither a genius nor a geek... But still, I can Fetch Those Trapping me... Darling: I've known it all... And I abided by silence with my own will...

If I Let You Go ...

Day After day

Time passed away

And I just can't get you off my mind

Nobody knows, I hide it inside

I keep on searching but I can't find

*********

Night after night I hear myself say

Why can't this feeling just fade away

There's no one like you

You speak to my heart

It's such a shame we're worlds apart

**********

But if I let you go I will never know

What my life would be, holding you close to me

Will I ever see you smiling back at me?

How will I know

if I let you go ?

***********

I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose

But sooner or later I gotta choose

And once again I'm thinking about

Taking the easy way out

Are You Ok with This?

Hey There ,,

16 sept .. the begining of the series again!

the drama starts back ... maybe with less people starring ,,,

am on a different episode , possibly a co-host of my own ..

year 2 stars are possibly on a different chapter ...

they lack possibly the production or lets say the direction ...

will they make it out ?? will they succeed ?? surly they will ...

or may i say ... they already did on year 1 ,,, Â alright then ...

so why am i writing these ?? i dunno ,, even if i know .. i can't mention it here ..

i will just keep it for my inside .. or lets say for the destiny ...

these were a few words i had to take off my emabzzled brain ...

maybe or perhaps or could ? ... all are questioning styles . but not anymore..

am on my own .. they would ask me are you fine with it ??

if i say yes .. i may be wrong .. and if i say no ... i would also be wrong ..

tell you what ...let me leave the answer to that for next post ...

possibly when the show starts ...

Sometimes ..

Sometimes .. it comes this way :

"I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone"

Sometimes .. i tell myself its alright ..

sometimes .. i think there is hope ..

In all cases .. it doesn't make me break down ..

i confess .. maybe my practical life is fine ..xtrafine

but .. the other side of life is never fine .. it doesn't seem at all..



sometimes i wonder .. how could i stand up to all those barricades .. obstacles ..

I've thought before that if I've ever face any of these .. am gone for sure ..

but am really amazed ..not complementing or giving myself a tribute ..

i thank almighty Allah for everything ...

And i Pray .. if my dream can turn real ..

well , i wouldn't write this to call for sympathy .. but it does call ...

it urges every minute ..every day .. every moment ..

will sometimes be always??

days shall answer my question ..

.

Evening Words .. By A Sleepy Guy

Hey ,

Have You Ever Been In Thing Like This Before?

Someone Who you've Hated So Much ,,

and then you become like the best freinds ?

Really weird , i dunno how it did happen in fact ...

But Destiny Is What happens .. no matter what we do ..

=====================

You Know Somthing .. when everyone think you are on the cliff ..

they are waiting to hear your news on the headlines .. But

You Don't .. Just Like that ! I Really Wonder How Could Some Fall So Easily ..

I mean .. Go Really Bestows His Mercy Upon Us .. WoW .. How Lucky We are !

==================

WOrk .. An Experience Am new To totally .. with a daily time

you gotta wake early .. get ready .. and then make it forward

the best part of it .. your colleagues .. i thank god mine are that faboulous !

if not .. i would've left it .. no matter the Fruit !

i guess now i knew what really it means .. to be a working guy ...

===============

An Event is Coming up in less than 20 days .. and am not yet ready !

Duh .. Vatever n Dude !!!

I Appreciate the time you sat to read this Junk !!!

Got It (2)

Between Mine and Yours

On The Coast of Charming Ibiza .. a thought came along the waves with the yanni music playing in my mp3 set ... i had a look on the track name ... " One Man's Dream" ,, Sympathy appealing .. ain't it? how could one man have a dream and work hardly to fulfil it ? going through daily life difficulties , putting possibilities along with competendance from around ? but for sure don't expect it all to be good feelings ... more and more the sun was getting down the mediternnean , a quick capture with the sunset in my frame ..something for memories ...

most people expect the sun to rise after a long night ,, but do you know somewhere in this world it does a few hours only ... between mine and yours .. that's where we all start the everlasting fight .. could we put it along with common rights we all deserve to have in our life ?? we all face troubles in our daily lifes ,, it varies from someone to another for sure .. but who could stand up to the challenge level?

the sun was already leaving away ,, i packed my set .. my battery was almot fainting !! i took a deep breath to allow for air exchange .. i remember my biology teacher said once : when you like to have total self confidance .. just take a deep breath and make it as long as you could ... by the way the track now was until the last moment .. yeah surly i will do till the last moment

Got it (1)

yup..

here we come ..

an end to another drama ...

but ironically .. no one knows

could i forget ?? i dunno

could i forgive ?? i dunno

will it affect me ?? not by a millimeter

the thing was like any other news .. suprisingly

no shivring ... no shock ...no worries ... nothing at all

Oh .. Guess What ?? the key is returned back ...

till a princess finds it again ..

but this time .. it is harder ..

the rules are tough ... and it is very strict ...

i wouldn't want to pre expect things .. But i assume that ...

Failure Will Make a partnership with some people ..

it isn't my attitude to talk about people on their back ..

i really don't hold any hard feelings .. any hate .. anything at all

although it is my natural right to respond back ...

seems a bit of riddle to many people who may be reading this ...

but you could get it all by reading last 5 posts ..

for now keep on touch ..

To be continued

Pre Release .. Thanks Allah

Hello ,,

A Long Time Since last Post ,,,

Work ... Work .. As Hell !!

But i Have good news .. for myself !!!

No Gloating .. No Mockery .. Thanks Allah

I Got Back My Right ... Actually Allah Did For Me ...

I Won't Bother About It Again .. Cuz Its Done :)

Be Back In A Week With Details ....

Ain't A Post ,,, Just A Commercial

Hey All ,,

This Isn't a Post

Just A Reply To A Tag i Got From Arwa

The Real Posts Are Coming Soon ,,,

The First Question Is ; Who Are You ?

I Am Abdallah Elshamy , 19 years , 2nd year mass media student

( going to 3rd year next september isa ) , i was born in yemen , i love africa ,

i wish to be a reporter from there ... thats all for now ...

Second Question ; Mention six Characters You Love

Prophet Muhammed ( PBUH )

Avicena ( Ibn Sina )

Ezz Eldin Elqassam

Albert Einstein

Ghandi

Sheik Ahmed Yaseen

Third Question ; Are You Happy ?

Well , it Depends , Currently Am Not , But I Suppose Boredom Is Killing Me Currently

But am Coming Over That , Maybe My Next Hapiness Will Be Soon ..

When The Result Is out !!

Fourth Question ; If you And Mubarak Met In A Room , What Will You Tell Him

I Will Tell Him All Thats Going Out There , How This Country Degraded To

A Very Bad Situation , and when am over , i will kill him !!

Fifth Question ; If You Had a 1.5 Million , What Will You Do ?

I Will Make Sure I Do Something Good Enough For People , Just Hoping To

Remember My Promises For The Others By Then ...

Sixth Question ; Do You Like Egypt?

The Same As THe Happiness Question , Sometimes Yes ,

Sometimes I Wish To GO Back There .. To Africa ... My Eternal Love

Seventh Question ; Are You Muslim and WHy ?

Yes i am , and am proud of it , why because gods love me and i

thank almight allah day and night for been a muslim >>>>>

Last Question ; What Is The Wish You Would Like To Come Real ?

It Is A Private Wish , Only Some Of My closest Freinds Know it : )

Another Question ; Do You Like Girls ?

Also My Close Freinds Know That , But in General , am not sure how to answer this question , i am a bit sensitive when talking about girls , for personal ast Experiences , But In general We Have Nothing To Do About it , It is a human Nature :D

Thank You For Watching : )

Worth or not ..

Here .. 10 days later

after last post " got to leave "

Day 24 ... Post No 24 ..

I Guess i was a victim of counterfeiting ...

it's not like am trying to appeal for sympathy ...

but really ... i was dragged into thing i had no relation with ..

found myself suspected .. convicted n untrusted...

who was behind it ??? why did it happen ... i never knew

and at the same line ... same point .. the last thing i ever th of ...

Playin Games ... Pretendin things ... What have i done so you made that ..

Jealousy ... Hatred ... Rumors ... On all levels



But Am not Givin Up ... Am not Steppin Down ... Am Still on .. Strong and Shining

U Hear That ???? Am not Depressed ... Am Livin .. Am goin for the top

am Goin To Make Somthin Never on Your Mind ... and all will pay tribute n respect...

Thanks for all u did ... for all the names u called me .. all the thing u said

thanks For listening to them ... for believing what they said .. really ... touchin !!!

am out of Words ... but a last word ... my life project is this : "Niger Delta .. A Story yet To begin"

This Summer ... Encounter The Best of Me ... Never Ever Seen Before in October 6 Uni ..

On Show Nov 07 ....

What a loose .. ya 5srtek

Got To Leave ..

Hi ,,

Sorry ,, Can't Write Anymore about anything

Exams , Trouble , other reasons ....

But Before i Halt ,, I Just Want Tell People In palestine A Word

-----------------------------------------------------------

Please Stop It ,,, By Tomorrow 15 May is the 59th Anniversary Of Your Land Occupation ..

Look Into It ,, Hamas ,. Fatah ,,, Haram What You are Doing !!!

Don't Make The Enemy Laugh At you ,, although they arleady Did ;(

-----------------------------------------------------------

Another WOrd For People Around ,, Take Care , All Of You ...

Never Know what might Happen Next ,,, And As For me

I Will Be living On Hope and Memoirs , But ... I Got My Plans Too

Dunno If this is taking much or becoming long ,, but ,, am only xpressing

-----------------------------------------------------------
Aljazeera Talk Buddies , Ahmed , Tola , Basheer , Ammar , and all Colleagues ....

Thank You Very Much , i Promise ... Its Near and We Can make it ... Keep It Up :)

I Wil make a special Post For You ... I Got Words To Write For you .. :)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Abdulrahman M , Am Waiting For you to accompany me in this year Safari , My Buddy ;)

Muhammed G , Keep The Good Work , Your Patience Will be Fruitful , am sure

Amr ,, Peace Be Upon You .. You Got a good Choice ,, Keep it and look after it

Ummm ,, Guess those are the people i trust here around ...

I Will Keep Near If you need anything ... You will Remain In Soul and Mind

For My ClassMates Inimates,, We are Separated Next Year , so Make Sure we keep around..

-----------------------------------------------------------

Before I Forget ,, a bunch of words for people around in mind ....

Soufian ... I Love Your Way of Dealing ,,, A good Future Awaits You .. kaif alhal Akhi ;)

Mahmoud .. Ahly wi Bas :) Keep In touch Bro ... We Will Hang In Alharam soon together :)

Ibrahim ... Your Patience Will Yield am Sure ... You are Talented .. You are In My Prayers ..

Safiah ... BioGenetics ... Heredity !! Thanks For All The Help You Gave To Me ... Appreciatin'..

Ahmed Magic ... Peace Bro ... Please Keep In Touch .. God Will Hep You ... I Will Miss You :(

----------------------------------------------------------

Guess Thats all i can remeber For now .. Although a lot others in mind and heart ...

I Will Be Making A Detailed Post For Some Names Above Soon ... Order Of names is Random

Now I Can Say Salam ... Bye .. Au Revoir :D ... Ciao ... I Will Miss You all ....

Power OFF :(...)

Happy Birthday ... Mum !

Mum ,,

Happy Birthday !!

I know i suppose to have put this yesterday ...

5 may ,,, but please pardon me

you werent at home and i was worried ..

everytime you leave home ,,, i keep busy till i see you again..

the best thing ever ,,, is that you and i are born the same day !!!

My Words can't describe how much i love you ...

Once again ,,, may allah give you the health and power to stay for us ..

i love you mum ...

Tell me Why ??

hi , well i was in a bad mood , u could see the former post for details

this song really touched me , its a young kid singing for our world :(

listen and read the lyrics below ..

--------------------

In my dreams children sing

A song of love for every boy and girl

The sky is blue the fields are green

And laughter is the language of the world

Then I wake and all I see

is a world full of people in need

Tell me why, does it have to be like this

Tell me why, is there something I have missed

Tell me why, I don't understand

When somebody needs somebody

We don't give a helping hand

Tell me whyEvery day I ask myself

what I have to do to be a man

Do I have to stand and fight

To prove to everybody who I am

Is that what my life is for

To waste in a world full of war

Tell me why, does it have to be like this

Tell me why, is there something I have missed

Tell me why, I don't understand

When somebody needs somebody

We don't give a helping hand

Tell me whyTell me whyTell me why

Just tell me whyWhy why, do the tigers run

Why why, do we shoot the gun

Why why, do we never learn

Can someone tell us why we cannot just be friends

Why Why ????

So Dissapointed Of Myself

Well , No Words Could Describe it ,,,

I am Embrassed of Myself

From Eveything that I mean ..

My Ever First Time to Do so,,

Things Will Get Complicated ..

You said you are so mad of me ,,

Well ,,, I've nothing to say L

Am Lost …